Lauren has a unique personality. She has a way of saying things that make me stop, listen, smile often. Here are just three examples. 

Lauren was on the phone with Kourtney. They were discussing Lauren's jewelry business. Lauren always gets Kourtney to talk about her jewelry business. She has an interesting business acumen. She's a great salesperson.  Lauren is always coming up with ideas for her business, sometimes these ideas don't even pertain to her business or make much sense.  Kourtney is living in US St. John's as an archaeologist.  Lauren says to Kourtney " Kourtney if you could collect shells and send them to me, I can carve them to make jewelry! Don't you think that's a great idea!" I don't know what Kourtney's answer was but after they hung up Lauren came into the living room where I was on the couch. She didn't start talking to me directly at first, it was just a statement in general. "I think this the ticket to my career; Kourtney lives in the tropics!! This is my ticket to a great career don't you think Ma?!" she say's excitedly.

Another time Chyna and I are sitting on the couch,  Lauren is talking to no one in particular again "I'm talented, I'm really talented. I looked at Chyna and she is looking at me seemingly saying " well if you say so." Chyna is our dog, she is an adorable shih tzu.

 Lauren and I were discussing her living with Phillip. I personally do not think it is a good idea. She has more stability at home during the week. She spends the entire weekend with him, they go out to eat, they stay up late, they stay in bed all morning. They have a wonderful time together. I'm not against her freedom, I'm afraid of her forgetting to take her meds and such.  At home she has consistency. Anyway,

I didn't tell her how I felt, instead, i said "we'll see, maybe one day." She seemed to be satisfied with that answer and a few minutes went by and out of the blue she said " If i live with Phillip, I don't want to pay a left hand and foot for my website".  Lauren has a web site, she sells her hand made jewelry on line. I took the statement to mean she didn't want to pay and arm and a  leg. 

Kicked Out Of Friendly's
                          By Kourtney Donohue
                                   

We got a booth in the back of Friendly's Ice Cream restaurant.  The waitress was visibly irritated that she was serving five loud, giggly, pre-teenage girls ice cream sundaes that were bigger than their heads.  As we began to inhale our chocolate fudge smothered sundaes, Kristie, my sister, was reminded of something she recently heard, "Someone told me that chocolate and cocaine come from the same plant."  Lauren, our first cousin, stopped eating her sundae, stared wide eyed across the table at Kristie and demanded to know more, "Kristie am I eating cocaine right now?  Am I Kristie?  I'm eating cocaine?!?!"  Kristie realized what she'd done and began to stutter "uhh well, but it's-- no Lau, it's not the sa--"

Lauren interjected before she could finish, "Kristie tell me the truth, am I eating cocaine?"  Kristie said "No Lau!" but she giggled nervously.  I attempted to answer too, but I also began to giggle nervously.  Lauren continued to panic and she thought we were mocking her because we couldn't stop laughing, "Oh my God I'm on cocaine!  You gave me cocaine!  I'm on cocaaaaaaaaaaine!?!?"  Lauren slammed both hands on the table rocking back and forth screaming at the top of her lungs "OH MY GOD I'M ON COCAINE!!!!!  I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON COCAINE!!!!!"  We tried to stop her, "Lauren no you're not! shhhhhh! You are not on coca--". I couldn't say it with a straight face, I couldn't control the nervous giggle.  People were looking at us.  We were worried the waitress was going to come over.  Lauren wouldn't listen to us.  She wouldn't calm down.  She panicked even more.  She would not stop screaming. She finally stood up from the table and she screamed out to the restaurant that -oh my god, she was on cocaine!  I saw the waitress heading over to us.  We jumped up and shuffled Lauren toward the bathroom, dodging the waitress as she stomped over to address the big scene we made.  Lauren ran ahead of me into the bathroom, slammed the door and locked it before I could slip in with her.  She refused to let us in.  We were all banging on the door, "Lauren please let us in."  "Open the door."  "You are NOT on cocaine."  All we could hear was Lauren wailing from the inside, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE ME COCAINE!!!!  I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON COCAINE!!!!"    

The waitress came up behind us at the bathroom door and demanded to know what was going on.  I said, "Please give me a chance to talk to her.  You don't understand".  But I didn't know how to make her understand Lauren.  Lauren has a lot of fear.  She often overreacts.  Ok I'm exaggerating, she always overreacts.  She interprets things kind of like Amelia Bedilia, the maid from those children's books - she often takes things literally.  One time she read in a Cosmo magazine that dark eyelashes accentuate the eyes, so she plucked out all her blonde eyelashes, even though most of them were blonde!  And she is very in touch with her how she feels, whether it's good or bad feelings.  She is honest about those feelings, which is unlike most people.  Everyone in the family knows this.  That's why when Aunt Janine was getting ready to go to her 20th high school reunion and didn't believe us that she looked great she said, "I want Lauren's opinion".  Lauren said, "You look hot Aunt Janine!".  Aunt Jan persisted, "But does this outfit make me look fat?".  Lauren looked her up and down and said, "No way! Well hold on, turn this way, ok maybe a little bit from this angle but other than that you look fabulous Aunt Janine! You look fabulous!".  We spent the next hour convincing Aunt Jan to go to the reunion.  Everyone trusts Lauren's opinion.  Everyone loves her honesty (most of the time) and her unique enthusiasm for life.  But when she freaks out - she freaks out.  And not too many people understand it.  But who really understands someone else's perspective?  And how can anyone really explain another's perspective?  That is why we share stories, feelings, thoughts...so that we can get a little glimpse into the perspective of others.  But at the time - there was just no explaining Lauren's perspective to the Friendly's waitress.                

The waitress refused to listen to me, "You all need to leave" she ordered.  I pleaded, "No please, you don't understand, she is not on cocaine".  The waitress said, "Well it sure seems like she is!"  It didn't help that Lauren was screaming from behind the locked door that she was indeed, on cocaine.  I told the waitress that we have to calm her down to get her out.  Finally she let us do this and Lauren agreed to open the door a crack, but wouldn't come out.  I whispered to Lauren through the crack of the door, "Lau, the waitress is kicking us out of here.  Please tell her that you're not on cocaine."  Lauren opened the door a little more, looked at the waitress with tears in her eyes and cried, "YES I AAAAAAAMMMM! I'M ON COCAINE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON COCAINE! OH MY GOOOOOOD!" 

"That's it you're all out of here!" the waitress said, she was raising her voice and going to get a manager.  This was our opportunity, we pushed our way into the bathroom and drilled it into Lauren that she was not on cocaine, and eventually, she began to calm down.  We said, "Lauren we all ate the chocolate, we've been eating it our whole lives, we are not on cocaine."  She looked at us with softer eyes, "I'm not on cocaine?  You promise Kourtney?!"  "Yes Lau, you're not on cocaine."  She then howled her iconic loud Lauren laugh "AAAAAghgghhhhhahahaaahahahaha.  I can't believe I thought I was on cocaine!  Aaaahahahaahahahahaahah"  Mouth wide open, head thrown back, out of breath rocking laughter.  That's the Lauren we knew was in there.  Always able to laugh at herself.  Always keeping us laughing.  The waitress still didn't believe us, we tried to get her to let us finish our ice cream but she wasn't having it.  We were kicked out of Friendly's. 

 Outside we sat in the parking lot waiting for one of our parents to pick us up. Lauren
knew she wasn't on cocaine. We were all angry. Not at Lauren or the situation, 
but because the waitress didn't even let us finish our ice cream. Worst of all;
how dare she accuse our cousin of being on cocaine!

2006 The Bungled Rendezvous

Lauren met Phillip at one of the day habilitation programs that are part of a number of varied locations that ACLD has created to take special care of handicapped individuals in the community at large. She came home from her program Bridges and immediately picked up the phone to call me at work.  "Mom, your not going to believe this". "I met a guy!". She pronounced each word carefully "I  Met  a  guy". I was picturing the  giant smile that was on her face, it was in that voice.  "I didn't want to give him our phone number, she gushes! because I remembered what you said about strangers and not giving them my phone number, right?" She is losing her breath at this point. " So I took his phone number, right?" She is rambling . "I told him I can't call him until you come home, right?  When you come home I will call him, right?" "Ok, ok" I said. Hold on just a minute. "Is he part of the program?" "No, he lives in his own apartment". " Then what was he doing there?" "He said, he was there to see his therapist.  Mom he's so cute and he was so nice, can I call him please, please…." "Ok, ok, we'll talk when I get home".

She called him that night and they talked about getting together soon. Meanwhile I had given her some questions I wanted answered when she did talk to him.  So when she got off the phone I asked her to join me at the kitchen table.  "How old is he? " "He's 42". "Lauren, don't you think that is a little old for you? Your only 27?  Is he close with his parents?" I asked. "Yes, they talk all the time".  "What does he do for a living? Is he working?" "yes, he has a job at Applebee's" she answered. "What does he do at Applebee's?" " I don't know, I didn't ask, I forgot, no more questions" she said with a stern warning " I am going out with him, whether you like him or not!"

 The next evening he called and I asked to speak to him.  He was nervous so I didn't press him.  He seemed mild enough the few words we spoke.  Lauren took the phone and went into the bedroom to talk in private.

 The next day I went to work.  At the time I was commuting on the Long Island Railroad to Manhattan. I called Lauren from work as usual and she seemed distraught." What's wrong?" I asked.

"I want to meet Phillip, he's coming to meet me". "Where? You can't meet him now, you need to wait until I'm home" I said excitedly. "He wants to meet now, I'm going to meet him" she shouted. The phone went dead. I called my sister Maryjane and told her what was happening  and she hung up and ran out the door calling one of her daughters, Carol to join her because she may need a hand.  Maryjane lived only 5 minutes away in West Babylon.  When she got to my block she spotted Lauren sneaking around the building. She also spotted a man watching her every move.  She stopped the car and yelled at her to get in the car immediately! Lauren did as she was told. She said Phillip never showed up at the seven eleven as planned. After work, I picked  Lauren up at Maryjane's.  On the way home I reminded her she was never supposed to go to the seven eleven unless I was home.  She said Phillip couldn't find the seven eleven.  He told the cab driver all he knew was a seven eleven. Of course, that's all Lauren knew. She said she told him there was a seven eleven on the corner.  Phillip knew all the cab drivers, because that is how he got to work every day.  He had the cabbie driving to seven elevens all over town, just not the right seven eleven.  Lauren and Phillip were so anxious to see each other they never asked anyone for the proper directions.  That is when I knew they would be good for each other.

 Lauren and Phillip have been an item ever since. They broke up for a brief period in 2010, but that story is for another day.

 

From Angel's to Devil's 1991-1993

We were living in New Hyde Park, a suburb of Long Island when Lauren started exhibiting signs that she may be schizophrenic. She came home from school one day when she was 15 and announced she did not have to look both ways when she crossed the street because the angels where watching over her. When I realized she was serious I took her to see a psychiatrist recommended by the school. He spoke to her for a 1/2 hour or so and diagnosed her with Schizophrenia. He got the diagnosis right but the Melleril  he prescribed really didn't help with the voices she kept hearing.  One psychiatrist after another we went through EEG's and psychotropic meds to see what would work.  When Lauren told one doctor she was seeing the angels he put her on a narcotic because he said he thought she had neurological dysfunction. Lauren had to be hospitalized numerous times for getting out of control. When Lauren was 17 we moved out the house we were living in New Hyde Park. We lived with  Bob and Raymond.  I was leaving Bob and Ray my son was attending Queens college and liked the closeness of the house in New Hyde Park to the campus. Everyone was ok with the living arrangements and since the house I was renting only had two bedrooms it made sense. I bought a sofa bed in the den for Raymond whenever he wanted to stay with us. By the time Lauren was nineteen, the angels were looking like devils to her.  I was one of those devils.  One such weekend, we were with friends when she had a psychotic episode.  One of the friends we were staying with was also an administrator in an adult home as I was. We recognized the glazed over eyes, nonsensical speech and I called 911.  She screamed from the ambulance as they were taking her to Stony brook Hospital in Long Island as she pointed at me  "she is the devil!!'   Lauren's life was spinning out of control. She was afraid. She was angry. The medication surely  was not working. 

HALI

HANDS ACROSS LONG ISLAND (HALI) was formed in 1988 as a grassroots, multi-service, organization managed and operated by, and for, psychiatric survivors. Today, they are the largest and most successful peer-run, multi-service agency, mental health organization in NY State, helping over 3,500 consumers each year. HALI operates the FIRST peer-run mental health clinic in the United States.
http://www.hali88.org/

Grandma's Funeral

When we received the phone call from Raymond telling us that Grandma Nawrocki had passed away, Lauren took it pretty well, so I started to think about the outfit she will wear to the funeral. The wake was in two days, with only one viewing night. I was unable to attend, so I dropped Lauren and her fiance off for the funeral at Raymond's and I went to work.  Raymond said the plan was to go to a restaurant after the funeral and he would be dropping Lauren and Philip off at Phillip's apartment  so I wouldn't have to worry about  them.  I felt it better for Lauren to just go to the funeral and not the wake the night before  because as she put it "I don't want to look at dead people."

I called Raymond at around 3:00 to see how the day was going. He seemed very agitated.  "I just dropped them off at the diner by Philips apartment !" he yelled. "What's the matter?" I asked. "What's the matter? What's the matter?" he was yelling. I looked around my office to see if anyone could hear him, but of course they couldn't. I calmly asked "what happened? Why did you drop them off? I thought you were all going to a restaurant?" "Ma, ma" he repeated, " you would not believe what my day was like."  "First, we're in church and I'm looking around and a few people had some tears in their eyes and all of a sudden Lauren starts crying; I mean really crying!! then  the crying turned into wailing! I mean she was wailing mom! I didn't know how to stop her!" he's yelling. The mass finally ended and they drove on to the cemetery.  Raymond explained they didn't stop to eat anything and they had to wait at the cemetery for  quite some time.  Philip did not eat breakfast and  Lauren is always hungry to begin with. Raymond,  is not accustomed to being the one handling her; I am. " Everyone was given the obligatory carnation to place on the casket for their final farewell to Mrs. Nawrocki,"  Raymond explained.  Raymond turned to Lauren and Philip and told them he was taking them to the diner so they could get something to eat. Raymond was saying to me on the phone" Maa, exaggerated,  her and Philip  ran to the casket and threw  the carnations on the casket and started running from the cemetery and yelling at everyone around them "bye"... "bye"... and quickly ran to Raymond's car as he and Tricia stood with their mouths open watching them get into the car." "I am never taking her to another funeral" he promised. I on the other hand, I was laughing so hard I was crying. 

Kendra's Law

Kendra's Law, effective since November 1999, is a New York State law concerning involuntary outpatient commitment. It grants judges the authority to issue orders that require people who meet certain criteria to regularly undergo psychiatric treatment. Failure to comply could result in commitment for up to 72 hours. Kendra's Law does not require that patients are forced to take medication.

It was originally proposed by members of the National Alliance on Mental Illness [2], the Alliance on Mental Illness of New York State, and many local NAMI chapters throughout the state. They were concerned that laws were preventing individuals with serious mental illness from receiving care until after they became "dangerous to self or others". They felt the law should work to prevent violence, not require it. They viewed outpatient commitment as a less expensive, less restrictive more humane alternative to inpatient commitment.

The members of NAMI, working with NYS Assemblywoman Elizabeth Connelly, NYC Department of Mental Health Commissioner, Dr. Luis Marcos, and Dr. Howard Telson were successful in getting a pilot outpatient commitment program started at Bellevue Hospital.

Background

In 1999, there was a series of incidents involving individuals with untreated mental illness becoming violent. In two similar assaults in the New York City subway a man diagnosed with schizophrenia pushed a person into the path of an oncoming train. Andrew Goldstein, age 29, while off medicines, pushed Kendra Webdale to her death in front of an oncoming NYC subway train. The law is named after her. Her family played a significant role in getting it passed. Subsequently Julio Perez, age 43, pushed Edgar Rivera onto the subway tracks. He lost his legs and became a strong supporter of the law. Both men had been dismissed by psychiatric facilities with little or no medication. Kendra's Law, introduced by Governor George E. Pataki, was created as a response to these incidents. In 2005, the law was extended for 5 years.

As a result of these incidents, involuntary outpatient commitment moved from being a program to help the mentally ill to a program that could increase public safety. Public safety advocates joined advocates for the mentally ill in trying to take the successful Bellevue Pilot Program statewide. What was formerly known as involuntary outpatient commitment, was re-christened as assisted outpatient treatment, in an attempt to communicate the positive intent of the law.

Criteria

Kendra's Law basically allows courts to order certain seriously mentally ill individuals to accept treatment as a condition for living in the community. The law is aimed to help a small group who have a history of rehospitalization that is associated with going off medications because they have horrible side effects.

In order to be admitted to Kendra's Law individuals must meet the following criteria established in Section 9.60 of NYS Mental Health Law:

Criteria for assisted outpatient treatment. A patient may be ordered to obtain assisted outpatient treatment if the court finds that:

• the patient is eighteen years of age or older; and
• the patient is suffering from a mental illness; and
• the patient is unlikely to survive safely in the community without supervision, based on a clinical determination; and
• the patient has a history of lack of compliance with treatment for mental illness that has:

1. at least twice within the last thirty-six months been a significant factor in necessitating hospitalization in a hospital, or receipt of services in a forensic or other mental health unit of a correctional facility or a local correctional facility, not including any period during which the person was hospitalized or incarcerated immediately preceding the filing of the petition or;
2. resulted in one or more acts of serious violent behavior toward self or others or threats of, or attempts at, serious physical harm to self or others within the last forty-eight months, not including any period in which the person was hospitalized or incarcerated immediately preceding the filing of the petition; and

• the patient is, as a result of his or her mental illness or hatred of miserable drug side effects, unlikely to voluntarily participate in the recommended treatment pursuant to the treatment plan; and
• in view of the patient's treatment history and current behavior, the patient is in need of assisted outpatient treatment in order to prevent a relapse or deterioration which would be likely to result in serious harm to the patient or others as defined in section 9.01 of this article; and
• it is likely that the patient will benefit from assisted outpatient treatment; and
• if the patient has executed a health care proxy as defined in article 29-C of the public health law, that any directions included in such proxy shall be taken into account by the court in determining the written treatment plan.

According to the Treatment Advocacy Center (treatmentadvocacycenter.org) all the following organizations support the law:

   National

• Treatment Advocacy Center (TAC)
• American Psychiatric Nurses Association
• American Psychiatric Association
• National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)
• National Sheriffs Association
• National Crime Prevention Council

   Statewide

• National Alliance on Mental Illness New York State (NAMI NYS)
• NYS Association of Chiefs of Police (NYSCOP)

   Regional/local

• AMI-Friends of NYS Psychiatric Institute, NYC
• NAMI/Familya of Rockland County
• NAMI Schenectady
• NAMI Chataqua County
• NAMI of Buffalo and Erie County
• NAMI of NYC/Staten Island
• NAMI Orange County
• NAMI Champlain Valley
• Harlem Alliance for the Mentally Ill
• NAMI of Montgomery, Fulton, Hamilton Counties
• NAMI/Albany Relatives
• NAMI North Country
• Albany County Forensic Task Force
• Westchester County Chiefs of Police Association
• Orange County Police Chiefs Association
• Town of New Windsor, Police Department
• Town of Chester, NY Police Department
• Town of Mechanicville, Police Department
• West Seneca, NY Police Department
• Broome County District Attorney,

   Selected individual supporters

• Pat Webdale – Mother of Kendra Webdale
• Dr. E. Fuller Torrey – Author, Surviving Schizophrenia
• Dr. Xavier Amador – Author, I am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help!
• Rael Jean Isaac – Co-author Madness in the Streets
• Pete Early – Author, Crazy: A Father's Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness
• Dr. Robert Yolken – Director of Developmental Neurovirology Johns Hopkins Univ.
• Dr. Richard Lamb – Dept. of Psychiatry, USC
• Edgar Rivera – Lost legs in subway pushing

Opposition

Kendra's Law is opposed for different reasons by many groups, most notably the Anti-Psychiatry movement and the New York Civil Liberties Union. Opponents say that the law has harmed the mental health system, because it can scare patients away from seeking treatment.[3] The implementation of the law is also criticized as being racially and socioeconomically biased.[

Studies

As a result of the opposition to Kendra's Law, two studies were conducted on Kendra's Law. One was released in 2005[ and one in 2009.

The 2005 study found:

Specifically, the Office of Mental Health (OMH) study found that for those in the Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) program:

• 74 percent fewer recipients experienced homelessness;
• 77 percent fewer recipients experienced psychiatric hospitalization;
• 83 percent fewer recipients experienced arrest; and
• 87 percent fewer recipients experienced incarceration.

Comparing the experience of AOT recipients over the first six months of AOT to the same period immediately prior to AOT, the OMH study found:

• 55 percent fewer recipients engaged in suicide attempts or physical harm to self;
• 49 percent fewer recipients abused alcohol;
• 48 percent fewer recipients abused drugs;
• 47 percent fewer recipients physically harmed others;
• 46 percent fewer recipients damaged or destroyed property; and
• 43 percent fewer recipients threatened physical harm to others.

As a component of the OMH study, researchers with the New York State Psychiatric Institute and Columbia University conducted face-to-face interviews with 76 AOT recipients to assess their opinions about the program and its impact on their quality of life. The interviews showed that after receiving treatment, AOT recipients overwhelmingly endorsed the program:

• 75 percent reported that AOT helped them gain control over their lives;
• 81 percent said that AOT helped them to get and stay well; and
• 90 percent said AOT made them more likely to keep appointments and take medication.

Additionally, 87 percent said they were confident in their case manager's ability to help them—and 88 percent said that they and their case manager agreed on what is important for them to work on. AOT had a positive effect on the therapeutic alliance.

In 2009, an independent study by Duke University into alleged racism found "no evidence that the AOT Program is disproportionately selecting African Americans for court orders, nor is there evidence of a disproportionate effect on other minority populations. Our interviews with key stakeholders across the state corroborate these findings."

 Current status

Kendra's Law is set to expire in June 2015 unless it is renewed.

Current status[edit]

On January 15, 2013, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed into law a new measure that extends Kendra's Law through 2017.