- Rachel GriffinComposer/Lyricist, Singer/Pianist, Teacher, Graduate Student, Mental Health Advocate
12/16/2015 07:25 am ET | Updated Dec 16, 2015
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It's 2015. Come over to the cool side and stop
stigmatizing people with mental illness. Just like when you sold your tapes,
cut off your mullet, and canceled your MySpace account, you need to say
goodbye to your stigma, stereotypes and judgment. They are out of style and
mean.
We all have to stop, because the consequences
of mental illness stigma are devastating.
You might say, "Wait... me? I don't
stigmatize people with mental illness! Why am I even reading this right
now?" Well, you might be surprised at how our culture and the media's
view has seeped into your consciousness in ways you don't even realize. (That
sounded creepier than I meant it to) Very kind-hearted friends have said
things to me about mental health to "help" that felt like more like
a punch in the stomach. Even I need to work on the way I
see myself and others who have mental health conditions (Hey, I'm
calling myself out here, too!)
Here are nine reasons why you (and I, and
every else) need to stop stigmatizing people with mental illness.
1. It makes
people resist getting help.
I remember how hard it was to admit that I
needed help. When the words finally escaped from my mouth, they were disguised
in a lot of, "I thinks" and "maybes." When we make people
feel like there is something odd/shameful about struggling with a mental
health issue, we make it extremely hard for them to ask for help. When they
finally do, often the effects of the illness have already wreaked havoc in
their lives. When getting help should have been their first step, it's their
last resort. Adding shame, guilt and fear on top of already unbearable
emotional pain is theworst thing
we can do. When people don't ask for help they continue to suffer and
suffering is exhausting. It can lead to suicide.
2. It makes
people feel like monsters. The stigma
can cause people with mental illness to feel like scary monsters instead of
the awesome human beings that they are; human beings who should be celebrated
for their courage and resilience! The media
falsely links mental illness with violence and
never shows you all the people with mental illness that are doing
phenomenal things in this world. Fear gets higher ratings than brilliance so
the positive stories aren't shared. The media does such a disservice to
those to suffer with mental illness and continually misrepresents who they
really are. Studies
show that people with mental illness, as a group, are no more violent than the
general population. They are more likely to be victims of crimes. Stop shaming. Shame is poison to the human spirit, both
to those who shame and those who internalize shame. Shame, guilt and fear
corrode our dreams that need to be nourished to become reality. (Sorry, I get
really Indigo Child sometimes)
3. It makes you
accidentally hurt people you care about. (And you look uneducated about the
topic) Recently I heard a professional
joke, "Someone didn't take their meds this morning!" I was offended
because this joke always describes someone acting like a total tool. People
who forget to take their medication don't suddenly act like the people you're
insulting for acting "crazy." No one jokes about medications
for physical problems, because it's not funny. Think of all the
people you interact with and care about in your life. Ok, so one out of
four of them have a mental illness. You
never know who is listening and how your joking or comments affect them.
Educate yourself about mental illness before you make hurtful jokes or get on
your soapbox. All the cool kids are not stigmatizing anymore, so you don't
want to look like a goober. (All the cool kids are also not saying goober...
Opps) Anyway, you don't see me writing an article about astronomy because I
haven't read any research about it and I'm not an astronomer... Don't preach
about what you don't know.
4. It makes
people feel alone. Person 1:
(tentatively) Well, I've been struggling with depression. Person 2:
(awkwardly) Oh.. Cheer up! You've got a great life. You shouldn't be
(whispered) depressed. Try thinking positive. Well.... I have to get
going! When people don't talk about mental illness (or
whisper it like the word itself is dirty and ugly) it makes people feel like
it's uncommon and that they are a total anomaly for not being cray-cray happy
all the time. It makes them feel like freaks because they can't, "Just
smile!" and like they are the only ones who have ever felt this way since
the beginning of time. It's isolating, when community and connection are so
important in healing.
5. It makes
people go off medication. I heard so many lame comments from
people that I trusted (with no medical background) about medication, that I
went off of my medication many times. I tried every alternative therapy known
to man and gave 100 percent each time, but I always ended up in the same
position without the medication. Each time I had to go on again I felt guilty
and like a failure. As I mentioned earlier, I'm a hippie-indigo child. I did
not want medication! It was a brilliant, compassionate psychiatrist who sat me
down and said, "Stop it," who finally changed my life and my
attitude. She said it wasn't weak to take medication; it was strong. It wasn't
cheating at life by taking it; I was cheating myself and everyone else by
continuing how I was. She explained to me intellectually what was going on and
why I need it. She changed my life.
6. Mental
illness is not just sadness or experiencing negative emotions.
You can't give someone advice about their
treatment if you are comparing it to your own sadness. You don't know what
it's like to be legally blind because you wear glasses, and you don't know
what it's like to be depressed because you've been sad. Yes, some people use
diet, exercise and alternative medicine but never shame or act like someone is
weak if they need medication. It can have devastating consequences. Before you
tell your cousin Mary to go off her meds and try berry smoothies and yoga,
think about it. Before you tell your BFF that your friend Joe eliminated
gluten (but he has amazing willpower) to cure his depression, think
about it. It's inappropriate.
7. It makes
people feel weak. Person 1: I had
depression once.. but I was just so strong and cheered myself up with positive
thinking and by reading The Secret. You attracted your depression
and with strength and being diligent about your thinking you can get over
it. Person 2: I would like to stop talking to you now. Good-bye. When
we shame people for needing to ask for help and get treatment, it makes them
feel weak and embarrassed. We need to change our perception of this because
it's wrong and super old fashioned. It takes tremendous strength to ask for
help and stay with treatment. It takes so much strength to go through the
nightmare of figuring out which treatment will work, read magazines in waiting
rooms from 1998, tell your story over and over, have people treat you like
you're the Hunch Back of Notre Dame, feel like you have a war inside of you,
and keep up with the care that goes along with having a chronic illness. It's
bad-ass. It's not three little kittens lost their mittens, it's warrior
status.
8. It makes
people get crappy care. Resident:
(pumped) Hi! Great to meet you. I'll be here about a month so I think we can
develop a really solid relationship. I can meet with you for about 5 minutes
today to hear your entire history! Patient: (sarcastically) Super. Care
for people with mental illness should be top-notch (I mean.. wait... we are
talking about the brain, here, right?) and it's so bad. It's expensive, crappy
or just completely unavailable. We get treated like we're kids, talked to in
condescending manners, and treated like we are subhuman. The insurance
companies put us on hold and play music from an elevator from the 80s for 45
minutes to then just deny our claims. Their favorite line is, "There's
nothing I can do, ma'am/sir!" (Is it in their manual or something?) The
only doctor in our network is Dr. McDoesn'TGiveACrap. The psychiatrist sees us
for 10 minutes and then expects us to take and stick with medication for the
brain without any hesitation. The secretaries tell us nothing is available for
three months but we can try the ER. Compassion and humanism are missing, and
they are everything.
9. It makes
people not know what's wrong with them.
We have to educate kids, teens, and adults
about mental illness or they may not even know that what they are going
through is common, treatable and has nothing to do with their character, who
they are, and all that they can be. When we are silent, they stay suffering
and silent. They mirror how we feel about it.
Stop trying to decide for people who they are,
what they are capable of, and what their treatment should be. Stop defining
them. It's not your job. We have to have compassion for people with mental
illness and compassion for ourselves. We have to have compassion for what we
don't understand. We need stop stepping on people and see their potential.
People are like flowers. They aren't meant to be crushed, they are meant to
bloom. I hope you'll join me and: #stopstigma #letshamego
___________________
If you -- or
someone you know -- need help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for theNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you are outside of the U.S.,
please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international
resources.
Follow Rachel Griffin on
Twitter: www.twitter.com/rachelgriffin22
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